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What, exactly, is OCD?

Hi friends! Welcome to Glitch Fix, where I offer weekly(ish) bite-sized tips, resources, and encouragement for battling anxiety, perfectionism, and OCD.

I want to share the knowledge I have gained from my own recovery journey in hopes that it helps others. Keep in mind, I am not a therapist or mental health professional and this post is not meant to replace therapy. If you’d rather not receive Glitch Fix posts, but still want to receive my monthly newsletter, follow the instructions at the end of the post¹.

Okay, I thought I’d start off the series by explaining what OCD is in the first place. As I’ve shared more of my writing about OCD online and in person, I have realized just how much confusion and misinformation there is out there.

Like the name suggests, there are three components to OCD:

• Obsessions

• Compulsions

• Disorder

Obsessions—intrusive or unwanted thoughts, feelings, memories, urges, sensations, images, and ideas that cause distressing shame, anxiety, guilt, fear, or disgust. My obsessions show up more like an obsessional doubt about whether or not I am good enough. Intrusive may not feel accurate if you’re engaging in obsessions and compulsions all day long—your obsessions may just feel like your normal thoughts, the voice of God or truth or intuition. In addition to intrusive thoughts, OCD can also include intrusive or unwanted feelings. For example, I had a constant pit in my stomach and “just knew” that I had done something terrible (even though I really hadn’t!).

Jon Hershfield calls OCD a “glitch in the good enough.” For people with OCD, it feels like you’re never good enough in a certain area (this is called their subtype or theme). Is it clean enough? Am I a good enough Christian? Does he love me enough? Am I sure enough that I have caused no harm? Do I feel good enough to move on?

The glitch is that, most often, for people with OCD, the answer is no. You don’t feel good enough or clean enough or sure enough to move on, so you get stuck doing compulsions.

Compulsions are checking, reassurance, or avoidance behaviors related to your theme of not good enough-ness.

For example, if it never feels clean enough, you may have compulsions to wash your hands a certain number of times or only use a certain type of soap or follow a methodical cleaning ritual in order to feel clean enough to move on. A key thing to note is that these behaviors can be external/physical or internal. In the example above, a physical compulsion would be handwashing and internal compulsions could be replaying your handwashing ritual in your mind hours later to check that you cleaned them correctly. Avoidance compulsions could include not going to public places that may be too dirty or not engaging in activities that you used to love in case of contamination.

For someone with a social anxiety OCD theme, a physical compulsion may be over-apologizing or checking to make sure you haven’t offended someone. Mental compulsions could be replaying conversations to make sure you didn’t say anything inappropriate. Avoidance could like not going to social events altogether for fear of looking stupid.

The problem with these compulsions, even though they bring relief in the moment, is that they feed the glitch in the long run. What felt good enough before, doesn’t bring the same relief the next time (like a drug addict needing more). The compulsions bring temporary relief (or else we wouldn’t do them!), but that obsessional doubt comes back stronger than before.

With OCD, it turns out you can never plan enough, prepare enough, wash enough, check enough, be sure enough, so you stay stuck in this cycle

An important note, it’s not OCD if you enjoy it. If you like to scrub your hands to hospital grade cleanliness—that is not OCD unless it brings you great DISTRESS when you are unable to complete your ritual.

Another note, the person struggling with OCD may be able to see that their actions are irrational and wish to stop, but the intensity of the urges and feelings make them feel like they don’t have a choice.

Disorder

According to the DSM, in order to receive a clinical diagnosis of OCD, the following must be true: 

“The obsessions and compulsions cause marked distress, are time consuming (take more than 1 hour a day), or significantly interfere with the person’s normal routine, occupational (or academic) functioning, or usual social activities or relationships.” 

Before being diagnosed with OCD at age 35, I had spent most, if not all, of my waking hours unaware I was trapped in this vicious cycle, which is why I’m so passionate about sharing this information with my little corner of the internet.

I want to hear from you!

Questions? Did you learn anything new? If you have OCD, what would you add to my description?

Disclaimer

This information is for educational purposes only and is not therapy. If you suspect you have OCD, reach out to a qualified mental health professional (ideally someone who specializes or is at least familiar with treating OCD.) I would recommend using the IOCDF resource directory: https://iocdf.org/find-help/ you should be able to filter by location and insurance.

Resources

Check out my updated OCD resources page here.

One of the best OCD tests I’ve seen to give you an idea if you should look into OCD.

A helpful podcast episode on the difference between OCD and GAD (Generalized Anxiety Disorder)

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