Flow: Open to the Unexpected
Grace-Filled Growth, Jan. 2025
(Voiceover for the essay portion only. Scroll past the first comment button to read the rest with your eyes and don’t miss a fun challenge at the end!)
Breaking from my usual tendency (and essay format!) to over-plan and over-estimate and over-achieve myself into goal setting, this year I’m meditating on one key word/posture: FLOW.
Flow
To hold loosely
To resist the urge to manipulate
To be open to more than one version of success
To approach my day without a pre-determined outcome in mind
To ride the waves of my emotions without fixing or solving or panicking
To move like liquid, running into unexpected places
To cheerfully refuse to be boxed in
To surrender control
To follow curiosity
To embrace the paradox of letting go to hold on
To release my need to track every inch of progress
To no longer see interruptions as infringements or unmet goals as failures
To form new neural pathways, rivulets of discovery
To live in my season and delight in novelty
To be in the zone, fully immersed
To get carried away
***
So far, flow has looked like trying out water coloring, jumping at the chance for spontaneous day dates and polar plunges, and rearranging my desk for the first time in five years.
This may not sound like big potatoes, but for a girl who loves routine and has had OCD convince me that unplanned = unintentional= irresponsible, this is quite the deviation.
To give you a taste of how foreign a concept flow is to me, when I first had the spark of Flow as my word of the year, I wrote out a detailed list of four ways I could definitively know I was flowing, a flow chart, if you will. Don’t worry, I nixed it for a poem:
Instead of tracking how well I execute on expectations, I am noticing the unexpected. My eyes are open to the moments that I couldn’t have predicted or manipulated or forced to fruition. I am noticing what comes up without my meddling or in spite of my best intentions.
And what I’m noticing is good.
I’m curious, do you have a word of the year? What is it? Are you more of a planner or a go with the flow kinda person?
What I’m reading
On Substack
Would you try to solve a river? - by Kelly Flanagan. Keeping with today’s theme, Kelly writes, “Pain is an inevitable part of being alive; suffering is the preventable part of being alive. Suffering is what we create when we resist our pain, when we don’t let it flow.”
Trusting myself and touching the work - by Amy Melissa Estes—a grace-filled approach to the writing process.
‘I published a novel and no one cares!’ - on Ask Polly—Perfect if you need a peptalk to put your art out there even if it seems the world isn’t listening.
the question every creative should ask - by Ashley D. Holston Listening to Ashley read her powerful questions gave me goosebumps. Also, please check out the whole Exhale blog hop (link at the bottom of her post) to read some creative and encouraging perspectives on what it means to be “Alive.”
Soft, Softening, Softness - by Nicole Gulotta—Another beautiful word of the year post. “Owl feather in the backyard. / Oversized cashmere cardigan. / Open palms.”
How to “Drop Anchor” and Ride out the Storm - by Amber Groomes, Ph.D. —This was a very practical piece giving a strategy for when the “flow” of your life and internal landscape feels more like a torrent than a fun trickle.
Books
Small things like these by Claire Keegan —A fast and impactful read. I listened to the audiobook and the Irish accent was delightful. Apparently it’s also a movie with Cillian Murphy—adding that to my watchlist now.
The Book of Delights by Ross Gay—you’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll be…and I’m sorry about this…delighted.
Weird Hybrid Animals Coloring Book—My kids are loving this coloring my friend Jess Gross made!
How cool did this snake/tiger turn out?!
In the queue
I don’t often add books I want to read here, but I’m truly super excited about these and it will give me some accountability to read them before next month’s newsletter. :)
A Polio Story by David Eubanks—A person in my writers group said this book was “delightful,” even though it focuses on the brutal epidemic of polio. David himself spoke at our group and his storytelling was gripping. I’m curious what I can learn from David about sprinkling in levity, humor, and relatability to leave readers with an experience of delight.
The Good Mother Myth: Unlearning our Bad Ideas about how to be a Good Mom – by Nancy Reddy. Yes to all of this.
Raising Resilience by Tovah P. Klein recommended by Amy Groomes here.
What I’m writing
**From the Exhale Blog Hop
Live the Wonder —“I’m learning to let the sadness and the gratitude wash over me like a dusting of snowflakes, like swirling watercolors, like a sharp plunge into a frigid lake.”
**On Glitch Fix, my weekly(ish) series where I offer bite-sized tips, resources, and encouragement for battling anxiety, perfectionism, and OCD.
How to Respond to OCD (and I suspect anxiety, too)—let it be!
Compassionate Commitments and Kindness Plans (an alternative to New Year’s Resolutions)
Spinning Out—my trick for analysis paralysis
**And a couple poems inspired by nature walks:
Sun dips
Pace quickens
Frozen lake, a gasp escapes
Magic murmurs around the corner
Stripped
of adornment,
She stands,
wisp thin
Open
A February Experiment!
In the spirit of flow and dipping my toes into some new activities (literally and figuratively), I have I came up with a fun February challenge (not coincidentally, February happens to be the shortest month.) The challenge is to do a cold plunge1 in our nearby lake, take a picture at my plunge then use the picture to create a watercolor painting, and also write a poem to go with the whole experience every day in February.
I will be documenting the challenge here and you can follow me on Notes for daily updates and invitations throughout the month.
I would love to make this challenge interactive, so please let me know if there’s anything you want to commit to doing more of in February by leaving a comment below or replying to this email.
As the girl who moved to San Diego for college to avoid cold winters, I am perhaps the most surprised to admit to you all that I am a cold weather convert. After a New Year’s Day cold plunge, I have been plunging most days (every day since January 9th!) in our high 30s lake water and I love it. I have more energy, I’m sleeping better (which is a big deal), but more than anything, the whole experience is something akin to prayer for me. The grounding, the stillness, the intentional seeking of discomfort, how I know I’m showing up for myself. Additionally, I consider photography, watercolor, and poetry to be my “non-dominant” creative skills. I’m hoping a commitment to daily practice will help decrease perfectionism and expand my creative toolbox.
My word is presence. I am so good at getting things done and preparing for the next that I forget to be present and pay attention to the small things that are happening everyday.
I loved your poem about flow! So beautiful. I'm excited for your February challenge!!