I love this, Aly! My daughter just turned 8 and still can't ride a bike, but I've never simply told her that I believe she'll figure it out. That really is a powerful phrase.
I’m feeling this too! And also what a weight lifted—not feeling like it is my job to make it happen. I taught myself to ride (the last kid in the neighborhood to learn, on a dirt road may I add 😊). I feel less stress knowing I can set up an opportunity for her but let her manage the process. (She’s 8.75 yrs old)
"My need to feel needed does not supersede their need to build self-trust." I definitely needed this post, Aly! I'm so quick to try to "fix" things for my kids, remove any obstacles or discomfort whenever possible, and I'm not great at letting them figure things out for themselves. As always, your words are a light to me. 🫶🏻
Tabitha, it’s so hard to let them figure it out! I am struggling right there with you! It’s such an act of surrender and humility to step back, but hopefully will be worth!
Thank you for sharing this story and resources you’ve found! It’s a great reminder to continue to try to let my daughter figure things out on her own even if that means watching her fall.
But being a support our kids always know is there, if they need, is truly an important and helpful role on its own.
This reminds me of the worry dolls my mom used to give me to keep in my pocket when I was in elementary school and often anxious. Your kids will remember the way you cared and supported them 🩷
Great reminder for all parents! Give our kids space, and they can figure it out. "I'm here if you need me." Be nearby, and they can always ask for help. How empowering. Beautiful bike story, too.
I’m feeling less guilty for telling my kids “you can do this” and “figure it out”—though admittedly they often come out in frustration and not so encouraging… 😬 I need to work on my tone.
Oh yeah, there are different contexts for letting them figure it out vs. making them figure it out because we’re burned out or frustrated. Tone aside, I’m sure your girls are growing up with a lot of self-trust!
We just watched inside our 2 and it has anxiety. I was so proud and happy that my kids knew what it was. I didn’t know about that emotion until way later in life. I also have a hard time of wanting to control everything or fix it. But I have learned and keep learning that just being there can be enough sometimes. Thanks for sharing about SPACE.
I’m so glad your kids knew about anxiety! It can be so powerful to name the emotion and know that even though it feels real, it doesn’t mean we have to let it run the show. You are such a good example of letting your kids lead and figure it out on their own!
I love this, Aly! My daughter just turned 8 and still can't ride a bike, but I've never simply told her that I believe she'll figure it out. That really is a powerful phrase.
I’m feeling this too! And also what a weight lifted—not feeling like it is my job to make it happen. I taught myself to ride (the last kid in the neighborhood to learn, on a dirt road may I add 😊). I feel less stress knowing I can set up an opportunity for her but let her manage the process. (She’s 8.75 yrs old)
You are not alone with a late-ish bike leaner! I know you’ll both figure it out!
"My need to feel needed does not supersede their need to build self-trust." I definitely needed this post, Aly! I'm so quick to try to "fix" things for my kids, remove any obstacles or discomfort whenever possible, and I'm not great at letting them figure things out for themselves. As always, your words are a light to me. 🫶🏻
Tabitha, it’s so hard to let them figure it out! I am struggling right there with you! It’s such an act of surrender and humility to step back, but hopefully will be worth!
I’m not a parent yet, but my inner child found this deeply healing and helpful. Thank you.
Thanks for letting me know, Kim! I hope you are doing well and your inner child gets to enjoy some play this summer!
Thank you for sharing this story and resources you’ve found! It’s a great reminder to continue to try to let my daughter figure things out on her own even if that means watching her fall.
But being a support our kids always know is there, if they need, is truly an important and helpful role on its own.
This reminds me of the worry dolls my mom used to give me to keep in my pocket when I was in elementary school and often anxious. Your kids will remember the way you cared and supported them 🩷
Thanks, Olivia. What a sweet story about your mom and the worry dolls. She didn’t try to fix it for you, but gave you a tool to channel your worry 💛
Great reminder for all parents! Give our kids space, and they can figure it out. "I'm here if you need me." Be nearby, and they can always ask for help. How empowering. Beautiful bike story, too.
Thanks, Ashley!
I’m feeling less guilty for telling my kids “you can do this” and “figure it out”—though admittedly they often come out in frustration and not so encouraging… 😬 I need to work on my tone.
Oh yeah, there are different contexts for letting them figure it out vs. making them figure it out because we’re burned out or frustrated. Tone aside, I’m sure your girls are growing up with a lot of self-trust!
Thank you for sharing this tender part of your parenting.
Thanks for reading, Vanessa!
I love those lines of encouragement for kids! Thank you for sharing!!
Thank you, Kim! Definitely not my default lines, but I can see how powerful they are!
We just watched inside our 2 and it has anxiety. I was so proud and happy that my kids knew what it was. I didn’t know about that emotion until way later in life. I also have a hard time of wanting to control everything or fix it. But I have learned and keep learning that just being there can be enough sometimes. Thanks for sharing about SPACE.
I’m so glad your kids knew about anxiety! It can be so powerful to name the emotion and know that even though it feels real, it doesn’t mean we have to let it run the show. You are such a good example of letting your kids lead and figure it out on their own!
We have done SPACE counseling too!! Such a gift.
I’m so glad you found SPACE, too! It’s so cool that something like this exists.