I’ve been thinking lately about how each of us has a particular set of struggles and big questions that accompany them that just seem to follow us around no matter what we do to try to fix them. They’re the things that maybe we can find some sort of relief from, and maybe we’ll have a breakthrough on in 5 or 15 or 50 years, but also maybe we end up carrying them forever. And I think it’s normal to feel frustrated and hopeless and overwhelmed and exasperated by these things, but I also sometimes wonder if some of the distress that accompanies them might be relieved by making some measure of peace with the fact that this hard thing may just be ours to carry for the long haul. Just some thoughts I’ve been mulling over (that ironically I’m typing out because I can’t sleep).
Hi Kelly, yes it seems there are some struggles we carry for the long haul. Sleep has been one of them for me. Sometimes I think we deepen our suffering with the chronic need to fix and solve (and all of the ads and promises of doctors and influencers alike add to that pressure.) I read a post by Jessica Kantrowitz that was a beautiful permission slip to enjoy the good days and accept that the hard days will be hard:
I have found so much relief with my OCD treatment, which is why I want to share my journey here, but I worry sometimes that I may be adding to that pressure to solve or deepening the despair or feeling of failure when the methods I describe don’t work for someone.
I think you do a good job balancing out sharing what has helped you with acknowledging that it's not a magical formula that will work for everyone. And I really appreciated this acknowledgement that sometimes things are just hard.
Gold! This made me laugh because it’s so relatable but the last sentence got me. I’ve taken to telling friends that mothering is sometimes hard, not because you’re doing it wrong, it really is just hard. Love to see that here too. 💛
YES! I think about that a lot with motherhood. I tend to think it's helpful to share what worked and give advice and "not gatekeep" as the influencers say, but sometimes the situation is just hard and that can be the most compassionate thing to hear instead of a list of recommendations.
I’ve been thinking lately about how each of us has a particular set of struggles and big questions that accompany them that just seem to follow us around no matter what we do to try to fix them. They’re the things that maybe we can find some sort of relief from, and maybe we’ll have a breakthrough on in 5 or 15 or 50 years, but also maybe we end up carrying them forever. And I think it’s normal to feel frustrated and hopeless and overwhelmed and exasperated by these things, but I also sometimes wonder if some of the distress that accompanies them might be relieved by making some measure of peace with the fact that this hard thing may just be ours to carry for the long haul. Just some thoughts I’ve been mulling over (that ironically I’m typing out because I can’t sleep).
I hope that sleeplessness is not something you carry for the long haul! And I appreciate you naming that sometimes a thing is just hard.
Hi Kelly, yes it seems there are some struggles we carry for the long haul. Sleep has been one of them for me. Sometimes I think we deepen our suffering with the chronic need to fix and solve (and all of the ads and promises of doctors and influencers alike add to that pressure.) I read a post by Jessica Kantrowitz that was a beautiful permission slip to enjoy the good days and accept that the hard days will be hard:
https://open.substack.com/pub/jessicakantrowitz/p/when-theres-no-sweet-spot?r=1mb8ke&utm_medium=ios
I have found so much relief with my OCD treatment, which is why I want to share my journey here, but I worry sometimes that I may be adding to that pressure to solve or deepening the despair or feeling of failure when the methods I describe don’t work for someone.
I think you do a good job balancing out sharing what has helped you with acknowledging that it's not a magical formula that will work for everyone. And I really appreciated this acknowledgement that sometimes things are just hard.
Thank you, Kelly 💛 Yes, sometimes things are just hard--even things that seem to be easy or no big deal for someone else.
May grace guide our days, and sleepless nights. UGH I've had a sleepless week and felt this so deep in my bones I could cry.
So much grace to you, Amber!
And to you! Thank you for trying all these strategies so I don’t have to! Ha!
Thank you 💛 Ha! Well, I sincerely hope some of them do work for you!
Gold! This made me laugh because it’s so relatable but the last sentence got me. I’ve taken to telling friends that mothering is sometimes hard, not because you’re doing it wrong, it really is just hard. Love to see that here too. 💛
YES! I think about that a lot with motherhood. I tend to think it's helpful to share what worked and give advice and "not gatekeep" as the influencers say, but sometimes the situation is just hard and that can be the most compassionate thing to hear instead of a list of recommendations.
“That stupid thing I said in 6th grade” got me 🤣
And 7th grade and 8th grade and yesterday… 🙈
This is so good and such a great take on the prompt!
Thank you, Kim! I wrote out this list for my functional med doctor and then saw the sleepless prompt—too perfect not to post.
This made me laugh so hard!
I laughed out loud at some of these! Great post!
Ha ha we essentially wrote the same post! :)
Haha yes! The list would be shorter if it was “what doesn’t keep me up at night” 😆😩
Too funny! (And relatable)
It’s funny and it’s not, ya know? I envy people who sleep easily!
Haha, yes. Everyone commenting on how funny it is and I'm like, um, I wasn't trying to be funny, I just want to get some dang sleep!
I feel your pain.
I'm sorry you can relate! As writers, we can at least turn our pain into poetry--or humor!