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Annie Fernandez's avatar

Can all of my friends be writers that craft their amazing news so beautifully? Celebrating with you that the sun has risen in you and over the darkness of OCD! Cried at the end. Freedom is such a powerful thing! So happy for you!

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Kristen Nevarez Schweizer's avatar

This is beautiful and my favorite post of yours this year. Sending so much gratitude for the message of hope.

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Kelly's avatar

Aly, this is so encouraging! I’m definitely in the first light phase of recovery, and it’s helpful to remember that this is not where I will be forever. Also, I’m right there with you on the premenstrual exacerbation. My body doesn’t respond well to birth control or SSRIs, but I’m on the wait list for a doctor that I’ve heard fantastic things about who specializes in hormones, and that’s giving me hope. Thanks for sharing!

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Aly Prades's avatar

Sending you so much love, Kelly! That first light stage can feel so hopeful and tedious. You are making good strides toward recovery and, even if it doesn’t feel like it, those small steps will add up!

Ugh, the premenstrual exacerbation is soo rough. SSRIs have not worked for me and I was shocked and surprised that the particular birth control I’m on is actually helping 🤗

I hope you can find some relief with this new hormone doctor! It can mean so much to have someone willing to work with you to find a solution (and acknowledge the problem)!

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Kelly's avatar

Hopeful and tedious is a good way to describe it. I so often get discourage by the worse before better feeling, but in those moments when I do catch glimpses of progress it's really encouraging.

Having someone acknowledge the problem would be so helpful!

Thanks for the podcast recommendation! All of her episodes look relevant to what I've been struggling with, and I even have POTS like she does! I've been seeing a therapist for a few years who has been very helpful, but sometimes I feel like I could use more specific-to-OCD resources, so I'm definitely going to check this out!

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Christine Greenwald's avatar

Gorgeous!! The writing and the photos :) Who would know that illness could actually be so healing??

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Aly Prades's avatar

Thank you, Christine! And, yes, there were so many times I found myself saying-thank you for this pain, this fatigue, for the gift of slowing down (even if it was forced!) I do have a lot more empathy for people with chronic pain, too. Despite the good, it was so hard to feel like I had to force myself to push through over and over again for things like teaching or events I really didn’t want to miss.

I hope you’re doing well and moving toward a season of sunrise!

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Leslie A. Banks's avatar

As for myself, I am teetering between darkness and first light today, though yesterday was sunrise! The instability and unpredictability these days is so draining. Reading this was a bright spot in my darkness today. 💜

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Aly Prades's avatar

Leslie, that’s a great point that our season isn’t static either--it can change from day to day! I hope your days keep inching toward sunrise!

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Leslie A. Banks's avatar

There is so much light coming through your story. I felt your progress and improvement expand jn my chest. You’re so good at helping me really feel and understand your experience. The photos are beautiful too! Thank you for sharing.

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Aly Prades's avatar

Thank you, Leslie! I love that you could feel the relief in your body 💛

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Krista Steele's avatar

This was so beautiful, Aly! I feel like I’m in a sunrise season. The darkness is lifting and the light is revealing a lot of things that didn’t make sense a year ago. And it’s a gentle, slow rise like the sun. It’s not the abrupt on/off of a light switch!

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Aly Prades's avatar

Thank you, Krista! I love hearing that you are in a sunrise season! What a gift to see those glimmers of light 💛

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Lisa Ro's avatar

I love the idea of texting yourself “the good”! Very creative and disciplined of you.

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