Make it lighter, not right-er

a mantra for the anxious decision maker

When I’m scared I’m making the wrong choice,

When I’m overwhelmed with options,

When fear whispers that one wrong move might ruin it all,

I’ve made an Aly-style cheesy mantra to point me to whimsy, self-compassion, and trust.

How can I make this decision lighter, not right-er? (grammatical questionability intended)

Or as a dear friend said to me, “What’s the most compassionate way forward?” Not the right way forward, the most responsible way forward. But the step that will bring grace, relief, delight, wonder?

What’s the point of being right if you’re still weighed down in fear? What’s the benefit of correct choices, if you’re caged into relentless rules? I’ve come to find that no amount contingency planning or rightness can actually protect us from suffering.

Suffering still finds us. Even the most responsible and conscientious of us.

So what if we put our energy into finding the good, into lightening the burden of our choices?

What if we could light up the world around us by continually choosing grace?

I want that. At least I want to try.

***

That’s it. That’s the whole post. I’m hoping to be back in your inbox real soon with some weightier thoughts about some of these light not right decisions I’ve been making. In the meantime (or as my cousin would say, the good time) I’d love to hear from you: what would it look like to make a situation lighter not righter?