“It’s only wasted if I waste it.” Oof. Felt that right in the feels. I think my hang-ups with self compassion are subconscious. I know cognitively that practicing self compassion will only serve me, but there’s a dark belief under the surface that says I’m just letting myself off easy and that my self criticism is what’s propelling me forward.
Love the poem! One of my favorite images of self-compassion is holding yourself on your own lap. Like holding a kid who is upset until the hard feelings pass. Imagining myself large and compassionate enough to hold all the parts of me that are sad, irritated, unhappy, ragey, etc. just really works for me. I try to practice it at night when I’m sitting in my kids room as they fall asleep. Extending the same gentleness to myself that I TRY to offer my kids each day has been a huge shift for me.
“It’s only wasted if I waste it.” I felt that impact so deeply! And I am so very in love with the experience of hearing your voice speaking these words. All poetry should be delivered this way!
Aly I loved the poem *and* you reading it! It definitely added to it :) I will think about your self-compassion questions, maybe a morning pages prompt for this week?
I've had this up in a tab on my phone, reflecting on it for the past week. I guess I'm pretty new on this journey, because my biggest issue with practicing self compassion is the accusation (from myself) that I don't actually deserve it.
Phew.
So far, my most helpful response to that is: "whether or not I 'deserve' it (whatever that means), it is helpful. I need help, therefore I'm going to try to practice self-compassion."
If I don't remind myself of that, I simply end up in an endless, hurtful, argument with myself, or occasionally reaching out (usually to my husband) for validation. I figure neither option is helpful long term (although the outside validation sure feels best, even when I don't believe it).
“It’s only wasted if I waste it.” Oof. Felt that right in the feels. I think my hang-ups with self compassion are subconscious. I know cognitively that practicing self compassion will only serve me, but there’s a dark belief under the surface that says I’m just letting myself off easy and that my self criticism is what’s propelling me forward.
Love the poem! One of my favorite images of self-compassion is holding yourself on your own lap. Like holding a kid who is upset until the hard feelings pass. Imagining myself large and compassionate enough to hold all the parts of me that are sad, irritated, unhappy, ragey, etc. just really works for me. I try to practice it at night when I’m sitting in my kids room as they fall asleep. Extending the same gentleness to myself that I TRY to offer my kids each day has been a huge shift for me.
“It’s only wasted if I waste it.” I felt that impact so deeply! And I am so very in love with the experience of hearing your voice speaking these words. All poetry should be delivered this way!
“Self-compassion adjacent.” Love this and just filled out the form!
Aly I loved the poem *and* you reading it! It definitely added to it :) I will think about your self-compassion questions, maybe a morning pages prompt for this week?
I've had this up in a tab on my phone, reflecting on it for the past week. I guess I'm pretty new on this journey, because my biggest issue with practicing self compassion is the accusation (from myself) that I don't actually deserve it.
Phew.
So far, my most helpful response to that is: "whether or not I 'deserve' it (whatever that means), it is helpful. I need help, therefore I'm going to try to practice self-compassion."
If I don't remind myself of that, I simply end up in an endless, hurtful, argument with myself, or occasionally reaching out (usually to my husband) for validation. I figure neither option is helpful long term (although the outside validation sure feels best, even when I don't believe it).