“It’s only wasted if I waste it.” Oof. Felt that right in the feels. I think my hang-ups with self compassion are subconscious. I know cognitively that practicing self compassion will only serve me, but there’s a dark belief under the surface that says I’m just letting myself off easy and that my self criticism is what’s propelling me forward.
Ditto to Krista. It’s like exercise. You know what you need to do, but for reasons you can’t quite explain, you find excuses to not give yourself the priority.
Yes, Krista! I think this is a very common hangup--the idea that if we let ourselves off the hook, we won't get anything done or be the person we hope to be. I will touch on this in the next my next post.
Love the poem! One of my favorite images of self-compassion is holding yourself on your own lap. Like holding a kid who is upset until the hard feelings pass. Imagining myself large and compassionate enough to hold all the parts of me that are sad, irritated, unhappy, ragey, etc. just really works for me. I try to practice it at night when I’m sitting in my kids room as they fall asleep. Extending the same gentleness to myself that I TRY to offer my kids each day has been a huge shift for me.
I’ve learned so much from Erin Rabke about self-compassion and this loving lap image specifically came from her class on maitri. You can learn more about her work here https://embodimentmatters.com/podcast/
“It’s only wasted if I waste it.” I felt that impact so deeply! And I am so very in love with the experience of hearing your voice speaking these words. All poetry should be delivered this way!
Aly I loved the poem *and* you reading it! It definitely added to it :) I will think about your self-compassion questions, maybe a morning pages prompt for this week?
I've had this up in a tab on my phone, reflecting on it for the past week. I guess I'm pretty new on this journey, because my biggest issue with practicing self compassion is the accusation (from myself) that I don't actually deserve it.
Phew.
So far, my most helpful response to that is: "whether or not I 'deserve' it (whatever that means), it is helpful. I need help, therefore I'm going to try to practice self-compassion."
If I don't remind myself of that, I simply end up in an endless, hurtful, argument with myself, or occasionally reaching out (usually to my husband) for validation. I figure neither option is helpful long term (although the outside validation sure feels best, even when I don't believe it).
“It’s only wasted if I waste it.” Oof. Felt that right in the feels. I think my hang-ups with self compassion are subconscious. I know cognitively that practicing self compassion will only serve me, but there’s a dark belief under the surface that says I’m just letting myself off easy and that my self criticism is what’s propelling me forward.
“[M]y self-criticism is what’s propelling me forward”—oof to that. Ugh why is anxiety such darn good fuel?!
💯
Ditto to Krista. It’s like exercise. You know what you need to do, but for reasons you can’t quite explain, you find excuses to not give yourself the priority.
So many excuses!
Yes, Krista! I think this is a very common hangup--the idea that if we let ourselves off the hook, we won't get anything done or be the person we hope to be. I will touch on this in the next my next post.
Love the poem! One of my favorite images of self-compassion is holding yourself on your own lap. Like holding a kid who is upset until the hard feelings pass. Imagining myself large and compassionate enough to hold all the parts of me that are sad, irritated, unhappy, ragey, etc. just really works for me. I try to practice it at night when I’m sitting in my kids room as they fall asleep. Extending the same gentleness to myself that I TRY to offer my kids each day has been a huge shift for me.
What a tender image! Can I share this in my next post?
Of course!
I’ve learned so much from Erin Rabke about self-compassion and this loving lap image specifically came from her class on maitri. You can learn more about her work here https://embodimentmatters.com/podcast/
Thank you for sharing this resource, Lindsey!
“It’s only wasted if I waste it.” I felt that impact so deeply! And I am so very in love with the experience of hearing your voice speaking these words. All poetry should be delivered this way!
Thank you for the encouragement, Leslie!
“Self-compassion adjacent.” Love this and just filled out the form!
Thank you, Kandi! And I LOVE your idea for a guest post! I will be in touch about logistics 💛
Wonderful, Aly! Thanks so much!
Aly I loved the poem *and* you reading it! It definitely added to it :) I will think about your self-compassion questions, maybe a morning pages prompt for this week?
Thank you, Lisa! Yes, please let me know if you reflect on the questions during your morning pages!
I've had this up in a tab on my phone, reflecting on it for the past week. I guess I'm pretty new on this journey, because my biggest issue with practicing self compassion is the accusation (from myself) that I don't actually deserve it.
Phew.
So far, my most helpful response to that is: "whether or not I 'deserve' it (whatever that means), it is helpful. I need help, therefore I'm going to try to practice self-compassion."
If I don't remind myself of that, I simply end up in an endless, hurtful, argument with myself, or occasionally reaching out (usually to my husband) for validation. I figure neither option is helpful long term (although the outside validation sure feels best, even when I don't believe it).