Ohhhh the church in the early 2000s. What a place. What a time. I am cackling at the DC Talk/Coyote Ugly mix. Just a Jesus Freak who Can’t Fight The Moonlight. Did you also have not one, not two, but THREE True Love Waits rings? Or was that just my particular brand of Christian Teen Perfectionism.
Happy belated birthday Aly! (And now, I can replace “old chem lab partner’s birthday” with “Aly’s birthday” for Sept 18.) (My brain holds on to the weirdest things.)
Offering yourself the “gift to be human”: that is so lovely. I wish that for you this year and always. So thankful that you are in my life.
Woof, this resonates so much with me. I’ve been in the midst of deconstruction for years, but just this year at 28 was diagnosed with OCD, and it’s been helping me make sense of a lot of things in my life. I’ve never heard that phrase “glitch in the good enough” before, but that describes my experiences well. I also resonate with healing as an ongoing project, and lately have been trying to figure out how to not be discouraged by that.
“Having to ask a question/not knowing the answer = failure of I don’t know what, but it sure felt like a sin” - this! I felt (and still feel) this a lot, but I wasn’t sure how to articulate this feeling; thank you! I also don’t know what it would be a failure of...perfection, maybe? Because if we don’t know something, we are incomplete and still have learning to do, but Jesus makes us complete (which I understood as our growth is done), so that need for growth and lack of completeness means we were wrong about having Jesus/something is separating us from him, therefore the thing is sin. I was the kid in youth group who always had the answers so I felt like I couldn’t ask questions. I always thought that was tied to image/identity (“but I’m the answer kid!”), but seeing this item on your list of “sins” makes me think it was deeper than that (especially knowing that I’ve always struggled with perfectionism). So those are some rabbit-trail thoughts!
Happy birthday, what a lovely endeavour to embrace your whole humanity. I definitely thought it was a sin to prefer more time alone than with people, to prioritise rest over service. Like you I am learning to love my humanity and have compassion when I feel the heaviness of guilt or shame
A few months ago, I turned *forty*-seven, and all I can say is the forties are better than the thirties. At least for me and the kind soul who said that to me when I was thirty-nine.
And I too have OCD, and it nearly destroyed my life going undiagnosed for about 35 years.
So yay for OCD treatment! And yay for you! Happy birthday! The best may be yet to come.
This was beautiful, thank you. I celebrated 37 this year as well and I’m pretty sure our 17 year old selves would’ve been good friends 💖 happy birthday and cheers to growing older and wiser!
Wow I love this. I could SEE your car with the license plate and everything!!! Learning how to be human will be my life’s work, and I’m so glad for concrete explorations like this one to help remind me of that.
Ohhhh the church in the early 2000s. What a place. What a time. I am cackling at the DC Talk/Coyote Ugly mix. Just a Jesus Freak who Can’t Fight The Moonlight. Did you also have not one, not two, but THREE True Love Waits rings? Or was that just my particular brand of Christian Teen Perfectionism.
Happy belated birthday Aly! (And now, I can replace “old chem lab partner’s birthday” with “Aly’s birthday” for Sept 18.) (My brain holds on to the weirdest things.)
Offering yourself the “gift to be human”: that is so lovely. I wish that for you this year and always. So thankful that you are in my life.
Woof, this resonates so much with me. I’ve been in the midst of deconstruction for years, but just this year at 28 was diagnosed with OCD, and it’s been helping me make sense of a lot of things in my life. I’ve never heard that phrase “glitch in the good enough” before, but that describes my experiences well. I also resonate with healing as an ongoing project, and lately have been trying to figure out how to not be discouraged by that.
“Having to ask a question/not knowing the answer = failure of I don’t know what, but it sure felt like a sin” - this! I felt (and still feel) this a lot, but I wasn’t sure how to articulate this feeling; thank you! I also don’t know what it would be a failure of...perfection, maybe? Because if we don’t know something, we are incomplete and still have learning to do, but Jesus makes us complete (which I understood as our growth is done), so that need for growth and lack of completeness means we were wrong about having Jesus/something is separating us from him, therefore the thing is sin. I was the kid in youth group who always had the answers so I felt like I couldn’t ask questions. I always thought that was tied to image/identity (“but I’m the answer kid!”), but seeing this item on your list of “sins” makes me think it was deeper than that (especially knowing that I’ve always struggled with perfectionism). So those are some rabbit-trail thoughts!
And happy (belated) birthday!!
"Today, I embrace that these mixed feelings make me human." Happy birthday! What an accomplishment to reach that place of embracing mixed feelings!
Happy birthday, what a lovely endeavour to embrace your whole humanity. I definitely thought it was a sin to prefer more time alone than with people, to prioritise rest over service. Like you I am learning to love my humanity and have compassion when I feel the heaviness of guilt or shame
A few months ago, I turned *forty*-seven, and all I can say is the forties are better than the thirties. At least for me and the kind soul who said that to me when I was thirty-nine.
And I too have OCD, and it nearly destroyed my life going undiagnosed for about 35 years.
So yay for OCD treatment! And yay for you! Happy birthday! The best may be yet to come.
This was beautiful, thank you. I celebrated 37 this year as well and I’m pretty sure our 17 year old selves would’ve been good friends 💖 happy birthday and cheers to growing older and wiser!
Happy birthday! Grateful for you and cheers to being human.
Wow I love this. I could SEE your car with the license plate and everything!!! Learning how to be human will be my life’s work, and I’m so glad for concrete explorations like this one to help remind me of that.