Aly, this hits so close to home. I'm in the early stages of ERP and in the midst of a terrible OCD flare. It's been really hard on my romantic relationship because it is keeping me from loving him well. Thanks for naming this!
Oh Kelly, I am so sorry you’re having an OCD flare. I’m sending big doses of self-compassion. I know what you mean about OCD keeping you from loving your boyfriend well, AND OCD is not your fault or something you asked for and you are still worthy of so much grace and compassion. 💛
Good question, Kelly. I think being really honest with your partner and letting them know the signs of an OCD flare can be helpful. I also made sure my husband knows when I’m seeking reassurance, so he doesn’t add more fuel to the fire. We came up with a script for my OCD when I wasn’t in the middle of a flare, so he knows how to respond. Those were all helpful for me—I will ask him what he found to be helpful!
Aly, this is such a powerfully honest and helpful picture of how seeking false protection backfires. I found myself at different ages in so many of your vignettes. Thank you for writing and sharing your struggles and recovery! There is such hope in these posts 💛
Thank you, Kristina. It is a jarring experience to feel really disconnected from the girl/woman at all of those stages. I’m glad the post comes across as hopeful! My brain is so quiet/calm now in comparison and writing about those compulsions that felt life or death now feels a bit silly. But what a gift that I’m not stuck in OCD’s false logic and urgency anymore!
“By the time I reach the brownie, I’m full. I don’t enjoy it all at.”
Oh damn. That illustrates so much right there.
This piece is one of your most impactful (for me) expressions of OCD for others to understand. Your ability to translate these compulsions is so valuable.
Thank you, Leslie. It’s helpful to know this was illuminating to you! And so strange to think this is just how my brain operated for so many years without knowing something was going haywire.
Aly, this hits so close to home. I'm in the early stages of ERP and in the midst of a terrible OCD flare. It's been really hard on my romantic relationship because it is keeping me from loving him well. Thanks for naming this!
Oh Kelly, I am so sorry you’re having an OCD flare. I’m sending big doses of self-compassion. I know what you mean about OCD keeping you from loving your boyfriend well, AND OCD is not your fault or something you asked for and you are still worthy of so much grace and compassion. 💛
Thanks Aly - this is helpful to remember. Are there any things your partner has found helpful when you’re in a flare?
Good question, Kelly. I think being really honest with your partner and letting them know the signs of an OCD flare can be helpful. I also made sure my husband knows when I’m seeking reassurance, so he doesn’t add more fuel to the fire. We came up with a script for my OCD when I wasn’t in the middle of a flare, so he knows how to respond. Those were all helpful for me—I will ask him what he found to be helpful!
Thanks! We’ve been figuring out a script too. It’s hard to know how hard this has been on him.
Aly, this is such a powerfully honest and helpful picture of how seeking false protection backfires. I found myself at different ages in so many of your vignettes. Thank you for writing and sharing your struggles and recovery! There is such hope in these posts 💛
Thank you, Kristina. It is a jarring experience to feel really disconnected from the girl/woman at all of those stages. I’m glad the post comes across as hopeful! My brain is so quiet/calm now in comparison and writing about those compulsions that felt life or death now feels a bit silly. But what a gift that I’m not stuck in OCD’s false logic and urgency anymore!
“By the time I reach the brownie, I’m full. I don’t enjoy it all at.”
Oh damn. That illustrates so much right there.
This piece is one of your most impactful (for me) expressions of OCD for others to understand. Your ability to translate these compulsions is so valuable.
Thank you, Leslie. It’s helpful to know this was illuminating to you! And so strange to think this is just how my brain operated for so many years without knowing something was going haywire.
Love your writing! Your content is so thought provoking. P
Thank you, Shirley! I hope you’re doing well!
Great essay! Very relatable and brave.
Thank you!