Summer Kick Off: Self-Compassion Sundays

Speaking of eras

I'm in my self-compassion era

My beyond superficial self-care era*.  My bubble baths are not enough era. It’s my not judging my feelings era. Also, welcome to the two or ten things are true at once era. The end of self-punishment era. Let’s make my mind a loving home era. See: embracing good enough era. The no more double standards era.

I guess you could call this the next stage in my recovery era.

Finally admitting I’m allowed to be human, too, era. 

Will you join me? 

This summer, along with sweaty hikes and salty beach days, I’m committing to practicing fierce and tender self-compassion. Self-compassion is a new term to me. For decades I tried to embrace self-love and self-care, but often those pursuits felt like another goal I was failing to reach. I didn’t feel very loving toward myself (failure). I didn’t always prioritize exercise or little luxuries (failure again). 

I stumbled into the concept of self-compassion in my OCD recovery journey: particularly through the work of Kimberly Quinlan and her amazing workbook: The Self-compassion Workbook for OCD. I’m hoping to spend the summer unpacking what self-compassion is (and isn’t) and offering some simple prompts and practices for you to follow along with if you’d like. (You can take the teacher out of the classroom for the summer, but you can’t take away my propensity to assign a good prompt). 

Here’s a short explanation of self-compassion from Kimberly’s workbook: “self-compassion is simply providing yourself the same sensitivity and unconditional wish of happiness and well-being that you would give a friend or family member for whom you care deeply.” 

If you’re at all like me, you likely engage in a double standard when it comes to compassion. You can probably respond with warmth, empathy, and care when a friend or family member is struggling. But often, we view our own struggles with judgment and cruelty. Shouldn’t I know this already? Why can’t I just get it together? 

Instead of judgment and criticism, self-compassion sounds like, “I see you feel this–people feel this–you are allowed to be a person who feels this.” 

I’ve come back to this phrase again and again over the last month or so. I am a person who is allowed to…

feel overwhelmed or tired or anxious or conflicted. 

I’ve also written out the flipside to see how ridiculous it really is: I am the only person who isn’t allowed to feel anxious. Or I am the only person in the world who isn’t allowed to make a mistake. 

Self-compassion, at its core, is an acknowledgement that we are human. 

If you wouldn’t mind humoring me as a teacher in need of a classroom, can you comment below how you would fill in the blank: 

I am a person who is allowed to…

Can’t wait to see what you come up with! 

*Hat tip to Ashlee Gadd and Rachel Nevergall for the era prompt inspiration.